"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass its about dancing in the rain."

the blob

i feel like the blob.

i just had chili w/ rice and i dont know how many points it was. grr. i start my day fine, then bullshit happens. hate it! hate it! hate it!

next week, i have no events or any thing special. i should do simply filling so it'll force me to not eat out.

and now i gotta find my really old camera. i can't make youtube videos cuz mine broke :(

going forward no matter what

i feel a little defeated because i stepped on the scale and it wasnt to my liking. plus yesterday i wanted to exercise yesterday and i didnt. instead i passed out on my bed after eating and eating and eating.

i've felt very sad since i came back from my vaca. probably because i just jumped right back into going to work and i had no time to get back to life really. my stuff is still at my bf's house. so i havent unpacked and my mind just feels a little hay wired and hectic. i wanna feel a little more grounded this week. so i'm happy it's friday.

i just need to force myself this weekend to exercise today and tomorrow. go to my meeting on sunday morning. take my weight as it is and move forward.

it's december. *sigh* 150 isnt looking like it'll come in 4 weeks. but that's because i can't see it. i can't visualize it because i'm constantly looking back when i should just remmeber that all i can do is go forward instead of wining about what i COULD have done.

anyhoo, my foods have basically been in check since tuesday. points wise. so i shouldnt freak out so much. but i just feel blah. and i need something to kick me out of it. and i bet you exercising would. so i'm going today. and cooking dinner today also. i havent cooked for myself in a while.